3/2/17

Just a quick update for today.  I want you to begin thinking about what coming home should look like.  What I say in this blog will be structural, and not fully detailed out...that is your job.  You can/should enlist help in filling out details, but at the end of the day, it is you who must figure out what healthy living looks like in your home.  It is my desire to see every student who attends Future Men go home and live as a healthy member of the family again.  I realize this isn't always possible for every family, but it is something that should at least be considered.  Obviously the student must want to live at home in order for this to be an option.  The first part of being able to come back home and live in peace, is for there to be an authority structure in place and everyone on board with how this plays out.  For a child's sake (your son) this is mom and dad.  Biblically speaking it is the dad who is the ultimate authority in the home (this can be a later discussion!), but as far as the child is concerned, this always looks like the parents-presenting a unified front.  That is tough.  The kids know us, and sadly, they will pit us against each other if they think it will make their life more comfortable. This may sound crazy but I have seen it hundreds of times.  Presenting a unified front does NOT mean always agreeing on the final decision.  It just means that when something is presented to the kids, mom and dad are on the same page.  This cannot be accompanied by private conversations where mom or dad is trying to win back the kids favor, or minimizing their part in the decision.  When you agreed to be married, you became one.  For the health of the family this is a concept you must get your head around.  More later.

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