8/9/17

Just a quick follow up to the blog the other day.  When I was talking about a dad discipling his son in a "lifestyle" manner, rather than a "event" manner it sparked a couple of questions/responses.  I would like to discuss some of these here briefly.  A theme that seemed to run through some of the comments was "where doe the time come from?"  This is a great question.  In today's world the answer to that question really isn't going to be very popular.  The time comes from you, as a dad, dying to yourself.  When we, as men, chose to have kids we in essence set our lives aside for anywhere from 20ish years to maybe 40+ years (in my case!).  This is tough.  I think this is why it is called "dying" to self.  In Matthew's Gospel he talks about "taking up our cross daily" and following Christ.  Parenting is following Christ.  In order to parent you must die to self.  God tries to break us in quickly by giving us a helpless, crying baby from day one.  Well, to be honest, I often have helpless, crying, babies enrolled in Future Men.  It often looks as though that as kids grow up we get less and less involved in their lives.  Why is that?  We say things like"they are getting their own friendships", or "they are beginning to have their own lives"... really?  More often it seems like they are busy feeding their flesh and using mom and dad as a bank/restaurant/hotel that had better not put any restrictions, expectations, or accountability on their lives.  I think we have dropped the ball.  If this isn't you please read on and use these words to help stimulate a friend, if it is you...don't be offended, own it and move on!  Start small (like the discipleship advice we covered last time) and just keep growing.  The dying to yourself probably looks like giving up on your hobbies for awhile.  Turning off the computer or tv, sports/hunting..etc, these activities will take a backseat for some years.  This runs so counter-culture with all the talk of "man caves" or "me-time".  I do strongly believe that we as Christian fathers are counter culture though.  This is tough at times (again with the dying comparison).  I used to be pretty heavy into woodcarving...not so much anymore.  I have had spurts where one of my kids and I have taken on some projects together, bu for the most part it is a solo hobby.  Not the best for a dad.  You can ignore my thoughts if you want, or maybe send me ten magazine articles or links telling me alone time is so valuable, but in the end I think people living that lifestyle will lose.  Think about it, pray about it, and act in a manner that you believe God is calling you to act.  If you can walk away with a conviction, rather than a preference, you will stand strong.

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