4/17/17

Today's entry may seem a little harsh, but life is harsh.  Around here I often incorporate a little saying that goes like this: "Shut up, and Obey."  It is plain and simple and it works.  I am not the biggest fan of the words shut up, but it gets to the point: right now you don't have an opinion, and you just need to obey.  This is a very tough concept for some of today's teens.  Our culture, and to be frank our parenting, have taught them that they are our peers, that they have a voice in most matters of family policy, and that if they don't like what you are saying...then argue and throw a fit...you will get what you want.  This has to end.  In Ephesians 6:1-3 the Bible states "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.  Honor your father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise, that it may go well with you and that you will live long on the land."  This verse has been over preached and under trained in our modern times.  I don't have too many boys here at Future Men that are here for obeying their parents, and when most of them arrive things aren't going well for them.  Why?  Because they haven't been obeying.  Plain and simple.  In our day most of us don't realize that when Paul states "that it may go well with you, and that you may live long on the land," he wasn't just saying that obedience brings about a lifestyle that promotes longer life (which by the way is true), but he was harkening back to Levitucus 20:9 where the Bible talks about taking an older child that is characterized by disobedience out to the edge of town and having the town elders stone them to death!  Sounds kind of crazy right?  Well...maybe not so crazy.  I realize this was for a brief time in Israel's history, while they were in the wilderness, but just think about it for a minute.  How many deaths would it take for your children to see or hear about before they would decide to obey?  Maybe...one?  Its harsh, but it works.  The example of one saves many.  Now, I am not here wishing we could still stone our children, but the point is Paul (and thus Christ) takes disobedience very seriously.  When you start to require first time obedience in your children you will see a change in your life.  Your home will have less arguing, there will be a greater sense of peace and joy, and everyone will feel as though they are a part of the greater whole.  Most kids today don't obey.  They do what you ask when they are in agreement anyway, or they see that you absolutely won't change your mind and that no amount of arguing is gaining them any traction, and you have somehow shown them that continued disobedience is going to mean the loss of something they want.  Something they want more (at the time at least) than their own way.  Maybe this is loss of a privilege, or maybe you take away their cell phone...whatever.  For whatever reason at this point in their life they go along with you.  That is not true obedience.  True obedience is doing what they are asked to do when they don't already agree; without any coersion; and and with a joyful spirit.  When was the last time this happened?  Ever?  This needs to be the new standard.  If you can train your kids to this standard your home will be joyful once again.  We as modern parents are of the mindset that we need to explain everything to our kids.  That them being on the same page is somehow necessary in order for us to require them to submit.  This is crazy!  It is a rare young person who sees the wisdom in following instructions the first time he/she is asked without argument, that is why we are in our drama filled homes.  Now, how do you go from where you currently are to a child that obeys first time??  Next time we will address that a little. In the meantime please be reading the books on our resource page or look at sermons or podcasts on parenting...do the work.  There is a new site out (that I haven't gone to yet so if its bad don't blame me!) called drive by parenting. I think its either on YouTube or something, by Paul Tripp.  I enjoy his books on parenting so I imagine this is just another great resource.  Go check it out.  I just heard of it this morning, and I'm going to check it out tonight as well.

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