Boldman's Weekly Parenting Blog

This blog is going to cover a subject that comes up a lot here at Future Men, and it is the subject of when is my son a man.  I think we want to talk to, and consider our sons as men asap, and they want the privileges that come with being a man asap, but when it comes to disagreements and we as parents trying to flex our "parental muscle"...well, it seems to be a different story.  Here is what I mean. You are at a crossroads of some big choice your son is wanting to make, and you stand in disagreement with his choice.  He wants to pull out the "I'm 18" card or "why can't I be treated as an adult?" Both of which are great points or great questions (which to be frank they are not really questions on your son's mind, it is just words used to convey disagreement.  So, how do we avoid this type of conversation, or worse, what do we do now if we are already in the middle of a conversation like this? Many parents ask me what will happen when their so...

Well another week is coming to an end and we are getting close to the Christmas break.  When your sons come home it will be a time of joy and struggle.  The boys will want to please and desire to assimilate back into the home, but will of course be struggling with obedience and being drawn in by the flesh.  Today I want to discuss the idea of just making a clean cut from social media for your son when he returns home.  Many of the boys feel a strong desire to get back into their old friends and patterns (that they somehow think is unrelated to the choices they were making that brought them here), and it is going to be up to you to change things.  As a parent it is no fun to be the "no" guy.  By this I mean putting restrictions on your children can/will make you feel like a tyrant and joy killer.  Welcome to parenthood.  When my children were younger (say at a time when we had about 8 kids under the age of 14) it was physically harder to parent, b...

Okay...I apologize a lot for not writing, but I am busy, and I actually have a legit reason this time!  First, my wife was in Africa for 2 weeks and I had all the kids (thats 10 still at home for those who dont know this).  Second, when she got back the internet at FM was actually down for 8 days!  Third, my wife and kids left for a yearly vacation they take with an old friend of hers (an ex-female student of mine who lived with us for three years and now is raising 7 kids of her own (my wife disciples her from a distance and they like to get together every so often to catch up and do some mom version of "iron sharpening iron!).  So...I decided to volunteer and build a fireplace hearth and mantle for one of my directors who is building his own home while she is gone!  Needless to say...too many irons in the fire!  But, I finished 30 minutes ago, I am sitting down, and thought I would try and catch up.  No more excuses.  One thought  that kee...

Today I want to briefly talk about a parent's job to stand at the "gates" of their home and stop any kind of foolishness to creep in.  In the early days of the Children of Israel they would post guards in many different locations around the city to "watch" for the enemy to sneak in (read 1 Chronicles to get an idea of how many men this entailed!).  What is crazy is that the best watchmen weren't placed on the back or side gates, but rather on the main front gates where the most traffic was going through.  The thought was that the enemy is more likely to sneak in where least expected rather than covertly sneaking in over some back wall (although they placed guards there as well).  As a parent YOU are that guard watching over the traffic coming in and out of your city, you home.  Most of the traffic coming in and out is safe, normal...but its also where you least expect it that the enemy strikes.  In a home this looks like the neighborhood kid, or the visiti...

Well a couple of crazy weeks have passed since I last wrote, and I need to jump back in!  Parenting my own children and trying to train up the boys here can be tough.  God gives His grace, but He seems to give it in a way I don't always recognize or feel.  When talking to the boys here its funny how easy it is to relate to them.  People ask me all the time "...how can you work with troubled teens? " Or "I don't know how you can put up with the tings they do."  Well, reality is I can't, but god can and does.  My biggest enemy, but also my biggest encourager is the mirror.  When I get frustrated or worn out on a particular student I just go take a quick peek in the mirror and remember how much patience and grace God has shown me, and suddenly it is easy to be kind to the boys, or to go back and make sure a relationship is on good grounds before leaving for the day.  As a parent and a teacher/discipler here, I find myself praying to God a lot for st...