Boldman's Weekly Parenting Blog

For the next couple of entries I am going to focus on pornography.  I would like to walk you through the basics so not only will you know what I am teaching your son, but also so your own parenting methods can have some food for fodder! I am currently taking them through The Conquer Series which is a good conversation starter.  None of the DVD series or YouTube series we watch here are truly stand alone for any young man.  We need to spend at LEAST an equal amount of time as the series is teaching to interject/explain/and add personal stories to help them understand.  I am also taking them through the general principles in Finally Free , as well as Wired For intimacy, How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain .  These are both excellent books geared towards helping us to understand how exactly porn is hurting us.  I was talking to a student this morning, and he told me he didn't have any problem with porn whatsoever.  I'm glad he said this, but when I pushed him just a little he

Last night was another great session with Craig.  He talked about what has already taken place in the lives of Christians and how we need to live in that reality. He also made some hard distinctions between the life of a believer and a non-believer.  Last night he discussed: God's full saving work is not yet complete in us; the presence of sin has not yet been removed; we are not yet all that we will be in Christ; we still have trials to go through on Earth; God's Kingdom is not yet fully come.  It was a great session and the boys were very interactive.  This morning he closed down the week in his final session.  Again there was a lot of interaction with the boys reading Scripture and answering questions. His topics this morning were based on the following points: We are learning to obey the convictions of the Holy Spirit; Our relationship to Christ is to be growing; We will go through trials and tribulations on this life; We should be becoming more and more equipped for the t

This week's guest sessions have been going really well.  Craig has had some great talks with the boys and it seems like they are really enjoying the time he is spending with them. Craig cherishes these times and is already lamenting that it is almost over.  The last couple of sessions Craig has been going over alternative responses to the situations the kids find themselves in. He has talked about: Not returning evil for evil; repent, repeat, and return; being quick to listen, and slow to respond; not to be argumentative.  In yesterdays session he explained how we are currently in the "already" but not the "not yet" time of our lives. In the 'already' we deal with things like: Jesus has provided salvation; the power of sin is broken; we are new creations; we have come through difficulties; God has established His kingdom in our hearts.  The "not yet" we are going over tonight.

Our first night of Craig's teaching was largely spent in introductions of the boys and Craig giving a little of his testimony and how he and I came to know each other.  He has made workbooks for the boys to follow along and take notes in.  We had a good crowd the first night with all of the boys as well as 8 of the staff.  Craig is teaching through the Lord's prayer this year.  He spent some of his time last night discussing God's role as our father and how His adoption of us as His kids is so important.  He also touched on what specific sins the boys are dealing with and what are they willing to give up in order to have a healthy relationship with Christ. 

This week we are having a guest speaker from central California come and speak with the boys.  His name is Craig Bowser and he is a trained biblical counselor as well as a farmer!  He will be sharing 5 different times with the boys.  I will add more as he starts going through the material.  Pray that God allows him to get through to the boys.  He has come for the last 4 years and does a great job.

I am going to talk just for a minute about the idea of pushing your son to make more than just pragmatic changes during his stay here at Future Men, but also realizing that once you have spoken your encouragements, concerns, and frustrations, that the end results are not in your (or my!) hands.  God has promised that His Word will not return void, and that He also finishes what He starts.  The big question is...whose work is it?  When we stand back and evaluate the lives of our own children it is very hard to be objective (probably impossible is a better word for it).  We see the good in them, what most parent's lovingly (and wrongfully) call their son's "good heart."  This "good heart" is often times in direct opposition to t he actions we are observing.  I have a prior blog regarding this topic, so go back and search for a topic regarding taking your son's actions for a direct reflection of what is in his heart. and why you should be thankful he basic